Webinars With Donkey’s, Black Friday Sale & The Power of Holiday Togetherness
Pirate Christopher's special Thanksgiving weekend edition.
Dear Friend, Subscriber, and Category Pirate,
This is a Thanksgiving weekend takeover, you legendary pirates.
Pirates Eddie and Katrina have been relieved of their duties, which means… That's right — Pirate Christopher here, and I’ve commandeered the ship.
While sitting here, whisky in hand, I got to thinking about what I'm grateful for.
(It’s long list.)
But I'm especially grateful for this community of Category Designers and pirates who refuse to play someone else's game. While the rest of the business world is sending out generic "Happy Thanksgiving" emails that are about as differentiated as mashed potatoes at a Midwestern buffet, we know you pirates are questioning everything — including that one uncle who convinces the family that deep-frying a turkey in the garage is a good idea.
In this special Thanksgiving edition, we're diving into:
Why who you associate with (and who you don't) sends loud signals to the world about your positioning
The truth about those "expert" holiday spending predictions
The science-backed power of holiday togetherness (and why unplugging with family might be the best gift you give yourself)
And lots of nuts..
So, top off that bourbon, grab another helping of whatever-the-hell that green bean casserole is supposed to be, and prepare for a different perspective.
Now, for a story.
Last week:
I was invited to a webinar (ask me anything) with a group of startup founders/CEOs and CMOs on category design.
I show up 15 mins before the session is scheduled.
Two other presenters are presenters in the prep session.
(I had been told it was an AMA with me.)
One, a CMO type (I’ve never heard of ) who was going to show “data” about category design I’ver never seen. The second person, a third-rate wannabe marketing hustle pornstar who has the IQ of a house plant.
So, I ask the organizer, “What’s going on?”
Only to learn, the event organizers changed their mind about doing an AMA and thought it would be more fun to have me debate two donkeys.
Not cool.
I punted.
All day, every day, you’re being positioned.
(Whether you realize it or not).
What you say you do
How people introduce you
How you present yourself
Who you associate with
Who you do not associate with
All of these factors send (very loud) signals to the world.
Be very thoughtful about where you put yourself. And where you don’t.
(Being on a webinar with donkeys, makes you a donkey.)
Position yourself, or be positioned.
How Much Will The American Consumer Spend This Holiday?
Experts predict varying levels of consumer spending for the 2024 holiday season:
Gallup estimates Americans will spend an average of $1,012 on holiday gifts, up from $975 last year.
S&P Global Ratings expects holiday sales growth to slow to about 3% in 2024, down from 4.7% last year
BofA Securities forecasts consumers will spend 7% more than in 2023, with an average anticipated spend of nearly $2,100
Deloitte anticipates consumers will spend an average of $1,778, up 8% from 2023.
The National Retail Federation estimates shoppers will spend an average of $902 per person.
PwC projects overall spending to increase by 7% to an average of $1,638 per shopper.
Translation.
The same people who do US presidential polling, do retail sales forecasting.
🏴☠️
The Power of Holiday Togetherness
It turns out, being with loved ones during the holidays is really great for us. Here are a few reasons:
1) Stress-Busting Superpowers
Family/Friend time during the holidays is a stress-zapping, life-rejuvenating superpower.
Studies show that people who return from vacation — including holiday gatherings — are not only happier and more relaxed but also more productive at work and enjoy closer family relationships
It's as if spending quality time with loved ones builds us an emotional shield against life, work, and the holiday hustle and bustle.
2) The Unplugging Miracle
Here's a shocker: holiday gatherings create a natural (healthy) opportunity to unplug from our devices.
In our hyper-connected world, this digital detox is present from Santa. The holidays create natural opportunities for deeper conversations and stronger bonds.
It's as if the holiday spirit unlocks a secret communication channel.
For most, this time of year sits on top of big emotions. The combo platter of deep feelings, and digital disconnection can lead to great dialogue.
And real dialogue makes a real difference.
3) The Joy Amplifier Effect
Get ready for this mind-bender: engaging in holiday traditions and rituals with loved ones doesn't just make us happy — it amplifies our joy. Shared values, interests, and experiences build a (strong) sense of continuity, identity, and shared history.
It's like each laugh, each shared meal, each goofy family photo is a brick in the foundation of our emotional well-being.
Who knew that making gingerbread houses could be a form of emotional architecture?
And its own contest category, attracting Superconsumers from around the country?
4) Shared Childhood Memories
Parents, Grandparents Parents, Uncles, Aunts, and people who love kids take note:
The holidays create shared memories. Shared Traditions. And most importantly deep bonds of love. It turns out hanging out with Grandma is great for little Jimmy for lots of reasons.
During unplugged moments kids (of all ages) often open up about things they wouldn't normally.
And.
Surprise.
Teenagers who spend more time with their families are less likely to engage in drinking and drug use, and they suffer fewer mental health problems like anxiety and depression.
5) Potent Time of Reflection
The holidays can be like group therapy.
But with eggnog and ugly sweaters.
The end of the year naturally prompts reflection, but doing it with loved ones takes it to a whole new level.
It encourages gratitude for our lives and relationships. Bidding farewell to the old year and welcoming the new (together) deepens bonds as people plan for the future. Together.
6) The Comfort Cocoon
Going through a tough time?
Over the last five years, our family has had to walk through (some serious) fire. For those facing challenges, the holiday season can be brutal. But here's the great news:
Spending time with loved ones provides a crucial source of emotional support.
It's like wrapping yourself in a blanket of care and understanding — perfect for weathering any emotional storms.
So, this holiday season, let's embrace the power of togetherness.
(Especially for those experiencing fresh pain and loss).
Whether you're decorating cookies, having heartfelt chats, drinking whisky, playing Cards Against Humanity with your in-laws, or simply enjoying each other's company, remember: you're not just making memories — you're boosting well-being, strengthening bonds, and creating a ripple effect of positivity and resilience that extends far beyond the holiday season.
After all, home isn't just where you hang your stocking or light your Menorah. It's wherever your loved ones gather to create holiday magic.
So let the power of holiday togetherness work its wonders.
And if you need extra love and support this holiday season. Go get it.
And if someone you love is hurting…
Love them a little extra.
Before we finish our turkey-and-whisky-induced wisdom, a quick note.
Last year, marketers sent 10.6 BILLION emails on Black Friday. (And you thought your inbox was stuffed like a turkey...)
That's why we're running our legendary BLACK FRIDAY ZERO % OFF SALE.
Because unlike those billions of discount emails, we believe in radical differentiation. Especially on Black Friday.
Zero % off Category Pirates Top 10 Substack Newsletter
Zero % off Category Pirates Strategy Therapy (1 Page Strategy) Course
Zero % off number one bestseller 22 Laws of Category Design
Zero % off number one bestseller Snow Leopard
If you’re curious why…
In case our emails got lost among the billions, here’s what we published this month:
Permission To Play: How Category Designers Break Free From Constraints & Unlock Legendary Ideas With Play. Discover how the most impactful and enduring work often comes from "just f*cking around" more often than formal planning.
Living In The Future: How Pattern Breakers Defy Convention To Design New Categories. Legendary Silicon Valley VC investor Mike Maples Jr. shares how to recognize up-and-coming Category Kings.
Be Clear, Not Clever: How To Create Straightforward Languaging & Drive Results. Hear the common traps most marketers fall into when Languaging and learn how to avoid them when creating your category POV.
Remember pirates: While others are busy fighting over Black Friday deals, you're designing the future.
That's something worth raising a bourbon to.
Thanks for hanging out.
Thanks for being the kind of people who see the world differently. Thanks for asking the hard questions, for designing new categories, and for refusing to accept that "that's just how things are done." You're our kind of crazy, and we're grateful for each and every one of you.
Happy Thanksgiving weekend.
🏴☠️🙏
Arrrrrrr,
Category Pirates 🏴☠️
This is the end. You should feel zero obligation to keep reading.
This is part of the newsletter that is like the part of the movie when the credits are mostly over, and the director puts in random out-takes and silliness — assuming no one is left in the theatre.
All newsletters contain nuts. 🐿
This product is a solution to a problem that most people don’t have.
Category Pirates is in no way funded by or supported by The Economist.
World’s Largest Pumpkin Pie: 3,699 pounds.
On December 23rd in Oaxaca, Mexico, there is a holiday radish festival. Which feature intricately carved radishes that depict nativity scenes. The best designs win prizes.
How do you spell AC/DC, Mark?
6 monkeys are still on the loose from a South Carolina compound after dozens escaped
Everything we value, we’ve been taught to value.
Everything is the way it is, because somebody (like you) changed the way it was.
“Fishing for a good time, starts with throwing in your line” - Tom Waits
There is a sum total of zero cover bands in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.
Dog eats $4K stack of cash – and getting it back wasn't pretty
Instead of getting coal for being naughty, children in Austria face Krampus. A horned creature who punishes misbehaving kids. December 5, known as Krampusnacht, people dress up as Krampus and participate in parades, celebrating this dark counterpart to Santa Claus.
From 1989 to 2022, the median net worth in the US increased from $130,000 to $192,000. An increase of about 48%.
90% of British women find bald men attractive.
40% of business newsletters are written by AI. (Not this one.)
What Loch Ness monster hunters found after biggest search in 50 years.
Florida man proposes using rings stolen from other girlfriend, authorities say.
Ever sit next to someone farting on a plane?
Or someone sneezing?
(without covering their mouth)
Is this newsletter still going?
Why are you still reading?
Why are we still writing.
We have holiday shit to do.
Is this still going because we’re procrastinating about going to run the errands we’re supposed to be running?
The current record for the most lights on a residential property is held by the Gay family from LaGrangeville, New York. They achieved this remarkable feat on November 28, 2014, with a staggering total of 601,736 lights.
Human Sperm adjust their swimming style
Yule Cat in Iceland: Known as Jólakötturinn, this giant cat roams the countryside during Christmas. According to tradition, those who do not receive new clothes for Christmas are at risk of being eaten by this fearsome feline.
Have you seen the UK dating show where people get fully naked and they show it ALL?
(It’s a kids show 😎)
"Jingle Bells" was originally written as a Thanksgiving song in 1857 by James Lord Pierpont.
The tradition of watching football on Thanksgiving began in 1876 with college teams. The first NFL game on Thanksgiving was played in 1920.
Thanks again for hanging out.
🏴☠️